RDers

Yesterday I declined an invitation to speak on Rumahtangga Dakwah. I cannot remember the last time I turned down an invitation to deliver a talk or declined to be a GOH. Almost by default, I will oblige and do my very best to share what little I know of the subject matter.

It took me a couple of days to come to terms with that decision. The dissonance was primarily because the lessons of ‘abasa wa tawalla were etched in my mind. I feared the consequence of giving attention to other VIPs and luminaries over requests by friends and peers. But this was not the case. “I cannot overemphasise the importance and significance of Rumahtangga Dakwah (best translated as a da’wah household) as a key institution for du’at. It therefore deserves a practitioner and role model, which regrettably I do not fit the bill” I wrote in reply to the invitation.

Rumahtangga Dakwah (RD) means many things to many people. For a start, is it a noun or a verb, or both? The working definition encompasses the intent or purpose of marriage, the individuals to make the marriage and later the children in the family too, the focus of the family or household and the imaginings of that household over time.

Conventional wisdom suggests that RD begins with a marriage meant for da'wah. While I value its inherent altruism, I do not believe that when two persons decided to get married, they actually intend it for da'wah. The married couple may contribute to da'wah or continue to participate in da 'wah activities actively and with much vigour, but it does not make the household or family or marriage a RD.

Wait a minute .. why do two people get married any way?
It is Sunnah, is the straight and simple answer.
Islam encourages marriage when we fulfilled the necessary conditions.
That's the "theological" or religious reason.

What is the reason that moves two people into marriage?
Love? Attraction? Moment of madness? Fate? Jodoh? Cari pasal?
Or all of the above.

What if the marriage was not meant for da'wah in the outset, but to help a widower and his children to recover from their loss and look ahead in life?

But what is marriage meant for da'wah means?
Put simply, what is RD?

Let me attempt an ideal.

It is a marriage of two committed da'wah activists who vowed that their marriage and family will not affect their current commitment but will amplify and intensify their focus and efforts for the cause, instead. Together as a family, they grew and developed, nourished with love and happiness and brought joy to others and wherever they are. They contribute to the larger community they belong to and serve as role models for others who are building their own families. Beyond who they are, what they have too are meant for da'wah. It is a household of sakinah, mawaddah and rahmah. Perhaps one made in heaven.

While RD may be a heavenly entity, it exists in the real world with all its hard knocks and challenges. Therefore it is exposed to the trials and tribulations faced by any other married couples and families. But RDers must be resilient and become stronger in faith and as a family by it. Undespaired, they turn to Him for solace and hope whatever the weather may be.

Rain or shine, RD moves others to seek from Him for them to be bestowed qurrata' a'yun from their spouses and offsprings.

And RDers themselves, the comfort of His eyes.