M'Lop Tapang Centre for Street Children

Founded by 4 young Khmers, M'Lop Tapang was conceived under the shade of a tree on the beach, hence its name. The organisation has been offering care and support to young people at risk in Sihanoukville since 2003. It provides access to education, medical care, counselling, vocational training and recreational activities while protecting the children from all forms of abuse.

We were greeted by Wanti, the education officer of M'Lop Tapang as he stood by a yellow coloured truck -- our transport from the guest house to the centre for the coming days. The ride was fun. We stood on the truck and enjoyed every bump as the driver negotiated the potholed roads and narrow lanes. But the fun was shortlived when we arrived at the centre. The sight of young children, many without footwears and shirts or tops sank our hearts. Later we saw babies in the baby room lying down on the floor without shorts and diapers. We were guided to the meeting room (on the upper floor of the building) for the welcoming remarks by the Director of the centre.

Despite the humongous challenge confronting them -- to provide non-formal education to the street children with the hope that they eventually be admitted to state schools, against the wishes of their parents who rather have them on the streets and beaches to beg or sell knick-knacks for an income to the family -- both Wanti and his Director appeared calm and collected sourced almost by an inherent inner peace, I reckoned.

The children crowded around us, everytime we arrived at the main centre, or at the slump schools. Many clinged to us, as though they found their long lost parents. Their deep eyes, troubled looks and erratic (and aggressive) behaviours were expressions of untold stories and psychological conditions. We came to offer help, but instead discovered our own human frailties as we wrestled our emotions, and the fear of giving these children the false hope and expectations of love.

Can we detach ourselves from the emotions and get the job which we came for, done? Should we not smile, hold their hands when they grabbed ours and play games with them to show that we care? Perhaps, this is what matters to them, and will make them happy.

We came to conduct art and basic numeracy classes at the centre, and build an eco-garden on the grounds of the slump school. Most of us were not prepared for the emotional roller-coaster but we took it in our stride. By the end of each day, many in the team "adopted" a child or children, and bonded with them.

It was selfless giving and receiving all day, everyday. We came to give, but I felt we were the beneficiaries instead.

A truly awesome life-changing experience for me.

The Swings, Hammocks and Mosquitoes

Alhamdulillah, we've had a great weekend (well, my children may not totally share my sentiments). Inspired by an email from a very dear friend, I persuaded my family to spend the weekend at a homestay at Kampong Johor Lama (by the mouth of Johor River) run by a retiree, Encik Mohd Bahari nicknamed Bob, hence Bob's Homestay).

It took a while to get there. Not because of the distance, but due to my poor navigational skills (and travelling without a map). Our faces lit up when we saw the sign pointing the direction to Kampong Johor Lama. My children were not too impressed with our bedroom and the basic amenities (or according to them, the lack of it). But somehow the idylic setting and the sight of kelongs, fishing boats and mangrove swamp mitigated the initial misgivings.

We watched the fishermen (and women) unloaded their catch at the foot of the jetty from their sampan in the mornings, ate at the warongs at Teluk Sengat for dinner, munched keropok lekor and sweet pisang goreng on the jetty at sunset.

We drove to Desaru Fruit Farm, and Tanjong Balau, visited the Ostrich Farm at Teluk Ramunia (we saw photos of FM and Mrs George Yeo, and Minister Dr Yaacob with an ostrich egg) -- and were given an interesting and insightful briefing on ostrichs, and their living habits.

On sunday morning, after subuh, I asked my wife to give a short tazkirah to me and our children -- the best reminder we've had for a long time.

I didn't manage to do what I partially came for -- BBQ and canoeing with Muslim and Mus'ab. We were too tired from my (bad) driving and the tide was low, until when we were just about to leave yesterday.

InshaAllah, we intend to return to this kampong, and offer a rejoinder to the pantun that stood at the jetty to bid farewell to the seafarers:

Asal tembaga menjadi dulang
Asal kayu menjadi peti
Andai jodoh masa mendatang
Moga kita berjumpa lagi

Muslim and I will be joining 20 NTU students for the POLARIS expedition at Kampong Som, Cambodia tomorrow, till Sunday. The students will be in Cambodia for 18 days to share their love and smiles with the children at M'Lop Tapang and later at a school in Phnom Penh. May POLARIS inspire them to develop a vast love for all human beings and for all creation, and thus live their whole life in the ebbs and flows of an all-embracing love.

May Allah weave the lace of our lives on the canvas of thought and action of the many heroes who have won His pleasures.

'Eidul Fitr Prayer, Reunion and Good Life

We (my wife, children and I) performed our 'Eid prayer at Toa Payoh Stadium. It has become a family tradition passed down from my parents for us to pray in an open ground for 'Eid - a sunnah of the Prophet (saw). This is the first 'Eid without my father, and I felt his absence both in my heart and at the field during the prayer. My parents and I would wait for each other - my siblings and their family to arrive before we walked together into the stadium, over the years. This morning, it was just me, my wife and our children. Perhaps my mother could not bear the grief to be at the stadium without my father, and my sisters obliged her and prayed at Darul Ghufran.



Alhamdulillah, I am glad we were at the stadium, despite not having my parents and siblings with us. We met old friends and almost like a reunion, we were (re)acquainted with the children of our friends, and acknowledged how time had passed not to mention how much we have aged - many were babies when we last saw them, and now in their teens and even taller than their parents. It wasn't just a gathering for congregational prayer but a celebration of friendship over decades and generations - friends of my parents, our (me and my wife) friends and our children's friends too. It was a community, albeit one that meets twice a year for the two 'Eid prayers. Not strangers who stood in rows for prayers but not knowing anything about each another.

The 'Eid sermon was simple yet inspiring. Titled Hayaatan Tayibah, it expounded the meaning of the verse in Surah Al-Nahl: "Whosoever acts righteously - whether a man or woman - and embraces belief, We will surely grant him a good life; and will surely grant such persons their reward according to the best of their deeds." (Q 16:97)

Like the icing on the cake, the sermon outlined four types of people:

Wealthy and generous (kaya harta dan kaya hati)
Poor but generous (miskin harta tetapi kaya hati)
Wealthy but miserly (kaya harta tetapi miskin hati)
Poor and miserly (miskin harta dan miskin hati)

An interesting permutation - which one of the above types will be able to do good and gain a good life?

Generosity is a virtue.
The hand at the top is better than the one below.
Let's give so that we will be able to give more, and much more.

Ramadhan in Eternity

It is difficult to express how much I am already missing Ramadhan, even before the blessed month leaves us this evening. Some days ago into the second week of Ramadhan, I broke into tears when I first sighted the decorative lights at a house near Darul Ghufran on the way back from Tarawih prayer. It hit me like a thunderbolt - the thought that Ramadhan is almost coming to an end and Syawal is ushered, while I fear my sins are yet to be forgiven and my prayers answered.

Like a loved one who is leaving and will be dearly missed, I can only pray and hope that I will be meeting Ramadhan again, although death may precedes us.

How I wish I am able to live Ramadhan in eternity.

Indeed Ramadhan has brought with it much blessings - the recitation of the Quran, the night vigil and prayers, the charity and more significantly His presence in our thoughts and action. We are in constant and continuous state and act of worship, earnestly seeking His mercy and forgiveness.

But the Lord of Ramadhan is the Lord of everyday, all day, in this world and the Hereafter.

Let's continue to seek and worship Him even after Ramadhan.

Let's not regress into heedlessness and disobedience, and choose darkness over light.

May Allah strengthen our resolve to brighten the world with the light of Ramadhan, and make us the torch from which it radiates.

Taqqabalallahu minna wa minkum.

Tribute to SIM's MCMS and APEX

Almost 6 years ago, I walked through the courtyard of SIM's HQ at Clementi Road to deliver lectures/tutorials and summer school on Management, Systems and Change for UK Open Uni's programme. Today, I was back at SIM on the invitation of the Malay Cultural and Muslim Society for a brown bag session with the newly admitted students. This would be my third meeting following the first meeting with Sis Nadiah at An-Naeem Mosque and subsequently with her EXCO members at Starbucks@FullertonOne.

My session was prefaced by a presentation by APEX or Ace PSLE Exams. Led by a group of NUS and other tertiary students, these 30+ mentors provided small group clinics/tutorials to prepare madrasah students for the PSLE. They did not limit their contributions to academic enrichment, but extend it to include motivation camps and goal setting. Their video clip and powerpoint slides moved many to embrace their cause - to empower individuals by becoming role models and providing academic help. The Pri 6 Madrasah Irsyad students featured in their video truly had benefited from APEX's programme, judging from their playful antics yet decisive on their career aspirations. How could we not respond to APEX's invitation to contribute as tutors or role models, I asked MCMS members to break ice before the talk proper.

APEX is a student-led initiative that in my view, have proved critics wrong - that apathy or indifference, and our educated young are synonymous. I applaud their effort and contributions. Initiatives such as APEX offered optimism and hope for the future. I sincerely hope that more students will come forward to give back to society even while they are still in campus.

I tried to expound the notion of success and attempted to answer the question given, as the title of the talk: Am I a successful Muslim?

Success is simply defined as an achievement of a given target or goal, and is the opposite of failure. But success today is no guarantee for success tomorrow. And as Muslims our definition of success is a subset of a wider definition of the Quranic term "Falah". Our ethics for success include actions that do not compromise prohibitions, such as at the expense of others; ends justify means and other Machiavellian tactics. As Muslims, we have responsibilities and its fulfillment is a measure of our conviction. We must be proud of our Muslim identity, but it must not led us to shy away from others or worse, create enclaves to "protect ourselves" and not contributing together with, and for the wider society.

A successful Muslim student, must meet the stringent criteria of the President's Scholarship, I argued. Perhaps a Muslim students' category to make it appropriate in this case. Through an interactive round, participants offered the following attributes and qualities: a) attain excellent results consistently, b) possess leadership qualities, c) made significant contributions to society, d) optimistic and passionate with a cause, e) manifest a pioneering spirit, and last but not least, f) have a good knowledge of Islam. That was our answer to the extended question - Am I a successful Muslim student?

We prayed Zuhr and Asr together, before and after the talk - a significant and important aspect of any programme, to connect and bind our souls as we stood in rows, shoulder to shoulder before Him. The physical, emotional and spiritual significance of praying together in a jamaah may not be obvious and understood by many. It is the building block for collective action and cements everyone together particularly in difficult times.

From the side talks and positive vibes, I gathered that we have managed to energise and motivate the students who stayed on. They need to keep their flame alive, and hopefully maintain the fire in their belly.

Self motivation is the best motivation.
They have what it takes.
I saw several first class honours and first class iman in the making.

May Allah assist them in their endeavours and grant them success in this world and the hereafter.

Ameen.

The Early Hours

The taxi driver remembered the old Alkaff Kampong Melayu Mosque at the top of Kaki Bukit when I mentioned that I wished to be taxi-ed to the mosque at Bedok Reservoir. He even remembered the old clinic housed in a building made of wood, nearby the old mosque and the surrounding Malay village. It was just before 4am and the conversation brought back childhood memories. I hoped it had broke the monotony of the quiet morning and the deserted road for him, as he searched for the next passenger after we exchanged thanks and goodbyes.

When I reset the alarm on my handphone to wake me up for this journey, it was just over 3 hours left to fulfil its function. I almost shrieked at the amount of time left for sleep. But it was indeed a good sleep despite how brief it was. Perhaps a hypothesis may be apt here: The quality of sleep and the ease to wake from sleep depend on the significance attached to the task or activity to be done after waking-up. Or put it another way: The task and its significance determine the quality of sleep that precedes it.

The early hours are precious but often neglected time during the night. This is the time during which Allah is closest and most receptive to His servants. Rasulullah (saw) said: Our Lord descends each night to the nearest Heaven when only the last third of night remains, and says: "Is anyone praying that I may answer him? Is anyone seeking forgiveness, that I may forgive him? Is anyone asking, that I may give him?" and this continues until dawn (Tirmidhi).

The later part of each night is the most conducive period for reflection and self-development. It is the occasion with the most potential for the heart to be present, alert and free of worldly concerns as the Quran declares: Lo! The vigil of the night [a time] when impression is more keen and speech more certain [al-Muzzammil 73:6].

The beautiful recitation of Al-Baqarah for the Tahajjud prayer nourished the soul and energised the mind. It was opportunity to check what I had memorised in the past. Beyond the exercise of the mind, the prayer - its recital and supplication was a Mi'raj for me. I wanted to ascend to Him, to seek forgiveness and mercy.

The 1.5 hours Tahajjud and Witr prayers were completed without noticing time and as though time did not matter. How different it was compared to other prayers in the day when worldly affairs dictate the time to spend for prayers - and even during prayer, these affairs occupied the mind. It was pointed out by Ustaz Zainal Abidin during kuliah subuh (the Talk after Fajr Prayer) that we never think of Allah when we go shopping, but we think of shopping even during our prayer, when we are supposed to be praying in a state of khusyu' (full concentration) in Allah's presence. I am no exception. Only Allah knows how I wish my heart trembles and my faith increases when His revelations are recited [al-Anfal:2].

Yet it was not just another ordinary morning. There was the eclipse of the moon, something that rarely takes place. It is another sign of Allah's Greatness. We performed the Prayer of the Eclipse (Salatul Kasuf) and it was my first.

A bountiful morning, indeed. Tahajjud, Witr, Kasuf and its sermon, followed by Fajr and a talk. Accompanied by the beautiful recital of the Quran, believers who came and prayed together to seek His forgiveness, and angels who witnessed the beautiful gathering.

What better way to spend the early hours?

Alhamdulillah.

Best Friends Forever

It was difficult to explain the silence or disappearance, since the last entry some two weeks ago. Many thoughts, issues and ideas nested in my tired mind as neurons fired and competed with each in my overworked brain.

The entry on UMMA Community Clinic generated several interesting responses, including comments from friends who I thought had given up on me. I had prompted whether we should focus our energy, resources and attention to build an institution akin to, and taking inspiration from UMMA. From a "leadership training institute" to "it should be about championing a cause than an institution - a cause galvanises people, not an institution", the responses were passionate and assertive. I particularly favoured the call and claim that we share a common cause - to create leaders. Comments were also made and appended to the entry, which I am most thankful for.

There were many other happenings worthy of sharing.

A discussion on forgiveness after the reading of a hadith on the subject and The Forgiver (Al-Ghaffar) surfaced many instances when we felt hurt and angry, yet recognised the need to forgive. Easy said than done. To err is human and to forgive, divine. At work, we were reminded to "clear (or clean) the account" between colleagues so as to strengthen our relationship and soul. Put simply, we must settle any issues or disagreements before it gets worse, before bad blood rears its ugly head and be manipulated by Satan. Surah Al-Hujurat offers useful pointers and lessons to maintain a healthy interpersonal account.

To celebrate ND observance at Madrasah Aljunied, I wore a pink shirt (sorry: I don't have a red shirt, and didn't have time to get one at Mustafa Centre) for the first time in my life! For many years I wore my usual grey and black (for a formal and distinguished look) but it looked like I am dressed for a funeral when everyone else is dressed to party. And the pink shirt worked. I blended with the colours, songs and atmosphere, and even cheered the Madrasah student who read a poetry in Malay to salute our nation. Zainul, our Corp Comm maestro and one of many best friends at work, remarked that I have gone mad that morning, at the madrasah. It was a joyful event - thanks to Musliha's SRC team and Madrasah Aljunied.

The Famous Five met as agreed and we renewed friendship that spanned over decades. Interestingly our conversation meandered into the "No Permanent Friends, Only Permanent Interests" question. Against the backdrop of our effort to strengthen social cohesion and harmony, to develop good relationship with neighbours and friends - NPFOPI appears to be a paradox if not an irony. We agreed to continue our conversation and I was tearful when they decided to rename Famous Five to Usrah Pak Mat in the honour of my father.

Friends like family are the oxygen to our life. Like oxygen, we take them for granted and in so doing do not accord its rightful place and value.

What is life without friends and friendship?
Let's be BFF to someone else and many others.

Faith In Action

One of the institutions I visited on my IVP Program on Community and Religion was a community clinic in Los Angeles. Established by a group of young medical graduates to serve the community and the neighbourhood, the UMMA Community Clinic is the first free standing Muslim Free Clinic in America. The mission is to promote the well-being of the underserved by providing access to high quality healthcare for all regardless of ability to pay.

The University Muslim Medical Association (UMMA) was started in 1990 by UCLA graduate and medical students in collaboration with Charles R. Drew University. From the start, the goal of the organization was to establish a free clinic in medically underserved South Central Los Angeles. With the administrative and logistical support of UCLA, Drew School of Medicine and L.A. City Councilperson, the UMMA secured $1,383,000 in grants to make its vision into a reality.

When my team and I entered the clinic (then), we were welcomed by the many patients waiting to see the doctors. The basic fittings and fixtures in the clinic complemented the hopeful and dignified smiles of the patients, doctors and staff alike. I was deeply impressed by the effort and salute the founders and volunteers for their remarkable achievement. Since then, I have shared the UMMA Community Clinic story with students and youth, whenever I am invited to be in their company.

Today, Ust Hannan e-mailed me a videoclip to go "beyond ourselves". I thought it was a brilliant clip to demonstrate the selfless efforts of young professionals who articulated Islam by deeds.



Actions speak louder than words.
They give without asking anything back.
Truly inspirational!

Anything we can do, together?

Only for the Love of Him

How do we love the Prophet (saw)?
Can we love someone who we have not met?
Do we love the Prophet the same way we love another person, say our parents or even our sweetheart?

These questions and many others occupied us last night. We read and shared our understanding of Surah Al-Maun and Al-Kauthar after maghrib prayer. The discussion was honest and lively. And while we recognized our limited knowledge it did not deprive anyone from sharing his/her understanding and thoughts. We were eager to learn and share and accept that there may be many readings, meanings and interpretations from a single phrase or an idea.

The “we” refers to NTUMS exco members and I. They invited me to share reflections on niyyah (intentions) since they will be completing their term soon. But we tangent off into discussing the verses of the two Surah, and spent some time on what it means to love our Prophet (saw).

“I found a book Senyuman dan Kenangan Manis bersama Rasulullah and it contains stories of Prophet’s life”, said a sister – and paused. She’d lost for words to describe her joy of knowing the Prophet through the stories. “Like he’s perfect. And I so want to marry him…” quipped a brother. “Ya”, the sister concurred, instantly.

How do we know we are loving the Prophet (saw)?
Is it by practicing his traditions and living the way he lived, thinking what he thought, doing what he did?

Can we love him by loving what he loved?
To plagiarize predicate logic: A=B, B=C and therefore A=C

Can we love him by replicating how others loved him?

Is this love that reciprocates?
Is this love personal?
That each has its own way of loving the Prophet (saw)?

I was thankful for the questions. Without questions there will be no answers, and a search for its meaning. I reminded myself to keep yearning for his love and to love him even if I have yet to discover what that means. Hopefully, I will discover and experience it, in whatever state appropriate - subliminal, metaphysical or in the depth of my dream.

It was not all questions and no deeds, or love unconcretised! – I was delightfully surprised when they presented me a cake, a card and a pencil box made of straw from Cambodia (I thought) for my birthday, at the end of the session just before I took my leave. It was very thoughtful of them and I truly appreciate the effort.

Not to mention, the love amongst them only for the love of Him.

Happy Birthday, Dr B

My wife wished me a Happy Birthday just before I dozed off into dreamland. My handphone beeped sms just after midnight. There was a text message in my inbox. It was the first birthday wish from my niece. I received several birthday wishes through Facebook, e-mail and sms, throughout the day. Grateful and elated, I also felt humbled by these messages since it came from friends I most admired and some least expected.

From the simple yet profound Happy Birthday Doc! Be good do good, the longevity May you have another 49 wise years to the do’a wishing good health, panjang umur and murah rezki. I also received a bookmark from Musfirah when I arrived home in the evening. Against a soft green floral background, the phrase Smile is language of love, both in English and Hindi was printed on the bookmark. Muslim sms-ed his Happy Birthday Ayah, God Bless message from Tekong.

It was difficult to reciprocate their wishes and greetings, other than the usual from Thank you for your wishes. I am touched and moved by the gestures. To relate to an earlier assertion on birthdays, I had added the invitation Let’s renew our beginnings, to sign off my reply. It was also impossible to express gratitude to them through text. I was unable to transmit raw emotion through words over limited bandwidth, hence the channel interference.

The number of wishes and greetings overwhelmed me. I truly did not expect such traffic. In fact I preferred a quiet birthday even better if no one noticed it. But how can I remained private yet enjoy Facebook and blogging. I cannot have the cake and eat it (at the same time) so goes an expression introduced to me by my Econs teacher during my school days. Unless if I had opted for pseudo names and encrypted identities, a practice I do not subscribed (and encouraged).

My family and friends had so generously wished for all that is good on my birthday. May Allah reward them with the best of rewards.

I prayed for His mercy and guidance.
It remains for me to make it come true.

Renewed Beginnings

He was deep in thought. How best to spend tomorrow when he turn a year older, was the question upmost in his mind. Recollecting what little snippets and images of previous birthdays was one option. Listing all his feats was another. But that will not be good for the soul and serves no purpose, his heart and mind wrestled to maintain humility. He even contemplated a bucket list, but that too may be misconstrued as achievements, post-dated. Back to square one and to the drawing board.

The easy option is to live just like any other day. After all, a day passed is a day older. Why the need for an annual marker and celebrations on the date he was born? Perhaps to express joy for the gift of life. Some find it a good excuse to throw a party! Poor kids, they were the ones made to put on the silly party cones on their heads and left to be entertained by the clowns while their parents and adults were busy networking and talking Great Singapore Sale.

But to go through the day in auto-pilot is not befitting a birthday. Maybe he should get himself a gift, to mark the special day. And for all the hardwork and sacrifices, he certainly deserved it and more. This will capture the moment and freeze the day for posterity, but it is too easy a task. Not to mention that it may not be too meaningful. Unless the gift is a seed that will grow grains to feed the poor in the world, or a mixture that will produce tablets to heal the wounds from decades of anger and hatred among nations.

He can take a day off from work and visit a home for the elderly to entertain them. Or make their wish whichever possible, come true. Such acts are for "others", a public act, however noble it may be. It is not a private one-on-one act with himself, an autopoiesis of sorts.

What difference does it make? Whether it is a public affair or a private act, community service or personal trance. What matters is how he will spend his remaining life to leave behind good deeds that multiply itself in his absence, impart knowledge that benefit others and raise a family that is pious and with good morals and character.

Any further analysis will lead to paralysis, he reckoned.

Birthdays should give birth renewed beginnings.
Not passing through life adrift.

Have a blessed and blissful beginning, Dr B.

Bicycles for Birthdays

This Friday is Murshidah’s birthday, and so is mine. What is the probability for father and daughter to be born on the same date, albeit 40 years apart? I guessed it’s because I have repeatedly forgotten my birthday (year after year when I was much younger), and perhaps the best way for me to remember my birthday was by a gift of a baby girl from Allah. I blamed it on my profession (an absent-minded computer programmer). It’s not just my birthday I forgot, there were some years I forgot my wife’s too. Deep trouble, hey!

She wanted a bicycle for her birthday, just like what Musfirah got for hers. I contemplated over its significance and meaning. While doing so, I have decided to get one too for Mus’ab. This is my grand plan to get him out of his bedroom and stay away from his playstation, TV and computer. Perhaps a bicycle will get him outdoor to enjoy the real instead of roaming the virtual.

My contemplation brought me to the days when I first got my bicycle. I could not remember where my late father bought and how he paid for it. But I have vivid memories of the lanes and drains over which I cycled to get to Jalan Eunos School. My bicycle was my true companion since I started cycling to school from my house in Jalan Pasir. I was in Primary 3 then. If you think that’s too young an age to cycle to school, it’s even a wonder how Noraini, my younger sister cycled to school from Primary 2, initially led and accompanied by my father (on his own bicycle) and soon we went solo, the two of us on our own bicycles.

I continued cycling when I went to secondary school. By then I had my second bicycle. Yet again, this blue “Ali Baba” bicycle was vivid in my mind. It was a rare item then and I felt a sense of individuality since I was the only student in the school who had a mean machine of a make and model envied by others.

But the bicycle was not for showing off. It was my only means of transportation to school and to deliver the glass jars of krepek ubi sambal homemade (by my mother) and packed into plastic packets (glued over a candle light by her children), to the mamak shops for them to sell it among other items in their stores. Once two jars filled with krepek fell off my bicycle and broke on the road. My heart sank as the broken pieces of glass buried the packets of krepek rendered it unsafe to eat and unsaleable. My mother lost two jars worth of revenue and I was numb from guilt for many days.

I now understood the significance and meaning of my bicycle. It was more than a toy. In fact it made me a delivery boy for my family’s very small time business – kind of an empowerment programme we initiated as a family to supplement my father’s income as a dispatch rider. While my father was on his motorbike dispatching newspapers, I cycled to deliver jars of krepek. Almost learning the ropes at a young age, I was taught skills to prepare myself for the future – the basic competency necessary to earn a living, just in case I didn't get very far in life.

We are about to leave for Giant at Tampines to buy the bicycles.

I have yet to find the meaning for their birthday gift.
Hopefully, my children will discover it themselves, some day.

Farhana and Yunus: Baarakallahu laka ..

My wife and I exchanged smiles when we saw our wedding photos. These photos were among the collection of photographs in the album, left by my late father in my sister's house. We were invited this evening to my sister's house for a video recording in preparation for her daughter's (my niece's) wedding next weekend. It appeared that all the uncles and aunties had offered their best wishes on video and we were invited to do the same. Amidst the gifts and the wrappings, the living room was turned into a recording studio complete with cameras and lights, and a professional video-photographer.

After a brief "syura" in my mother's bedroom, my wife and I braved ourselves to face the camera. I had warned the video-photographer to be prepared for several cuts, to get the best video clip possible. At the count of three and the cue by the video-photographer, I introduced myself and shared a brief citation for my niece - her special qualities and how proud I was when she took upon herself to pursue her university education while working in the social service sector - championing the yellow ribbon cause for public to embrace former prison inmates. I ended my three minutes rambling with a do'a -- To Nur Farhana:

Baarakallahu laka wa baaraka 'alaika wa jama'a bainakumma fi khairin.

May Allah bless for you (Yunus, your spouse-to-be), and bless you, and may He unite both of you in goodness.

My wife then shared how she first met Farhana (then a baby in my sister's arm) and recollected how our niece had grown into a lady. She offered her advice and reminded that marriage requires not only love but also lots of patience and understanding.

We smiled because the task of wrapping the gifts for the groom, and the gifts itself were unconventional to say the least. There was no actual wrapping - all the gifts were placed in woven baskets for all to see. The free-sized maroon and black organza cloth served as linings for the trays to place some smaller gifts. And we could never have guessed what those gifts were, until we saw it ourselves - Playstation 3, Nokia Handphone, Newcastle United Football Shirt, cologne along with a shirt and 2 pieces of prayer mat (sejadah).

It used to be shoes, shirts, belt, wallet, watch, cologne and sejadah, I thought. That's what I got from my wife and we certainly did not have a video-photographer to produce a montage and capture the wishes for viewing on the wedding day. And not to mention the wedding planner - that which was unheard off, when we got married some 25 years ago.

Playstation or not, we pray for their future happiness and a marriage that will last in this world and the Hereafter.

Ameen.

Let's Be (Good) Trees

It was a strange feeling. I never thought I would have an opportunity to plant a tree in Singapore's public park. This morning's tree planting event at Stamford Green, Fort Canning Hill Park next to Singapore National Museum to celebrate Religious Harmony was simple, short but very meaningful. After the speech by Senior Minister, we recited the Declaration on Religious Harmony and subsequently moved to the dedicated plot in the green to plant our trees.

Every year the Inter Religious Harmony Circle (IRHC) with the support of MCYS and other agencies organised an event to celebrate Racial and Religious Harmony day. This year they decided to create a permanent landscape to symbolise religious harmony in Singapore. The event was well attended by religious and community leaders from the different faith groups.

I thought the event was very meaningful. Despite the presence of Ministers it was not an overkill. And more importantly we had a part in it - planting and watering the tree. Something I look forward to show to my children and friends when we are in the vicinity.

Trees have always reminded me of life and creation. When we were living in the UK, the four seasons (or almost) showed us the transformative cycle of life -- autumn was when trees shed their leaves, winter gave the impression that nothing grew on the tree and when spring arrived, new flower buds appeared to blossom in summer. It was said that the trees went into "meditation" in winter to renew itself for spring, although it appeared as though nothing visually happened.

The Quran also used trees for numerous purposes and carried different meanings. One of the many oft-quoted verses is:

"Do you not see how God makes comparisons? A good word is like a good tree whose root is firm and whose branches are high in the sky, yielding constant fruit by its Lord's leave -- God makes such comparisons for people so that they may reflect -- but an evil word is like a rotten tree, uprooted from the surface of the earth, with no power to endure. God will give firmness to those who believe in the firmly rooted word, both in this world and the Hereafter, but the evildoers He leaves to stray: God does whatever He will." [Q 14:24-27]

Kun kasshajar yurma bilhajar wayu'ti atyabu thamar.

Be like a tree.
When stones are thrown (at it),
the tree replies with fruits.

ps: Just in case you're wondering - the tree in the picture was not the one I planted at Stamford Green. It was one of the many beautiful trees we found at Lake Tekapo in the South Island of New Zealand.

WYSIWYG

What you see is what you get. WYSIWYG (pronounced we-see-wig) is the shorthand for human-computer interface of mouse, pull-down menus and objects. I have modified it to become what you SEEK is what you get to impress upon students the need to set academic targets before their departure for overseas studies.

After listing the Muslim students who gained 1st class honours from local universities, as reported in Berita Harian recently, I asked them whether it had occurred to them to set their sights at 1st class honours, summa cum laude or in their case, mumtaz sharaf. Only a few hands were raised representing a small percentage of the entire cohort that participated this year's Pre-Departure Programme.

I tried very hard to excite them and to make them appreciate the significance of good academic grades. We need religious officers and leaders who excelled in their studies to lead and shape the religious life of our community, I stressed. Somewhat I felt the students were not "hungry" for good grades, with the exception of a few female students. I also shared that law graduates of overseas universities will need to achieve a 2nd upper honours for them to be admitted to the Bar. Perhaps we should suggest to the Asatizah Recognition Board (ARB) to recognise only those with at least Jayyid Jiddan (Very Good) as asatizah for gainful employment, to change mindset and attitude.

It is worrying when students who are able to gain good grades and are expected to lead the community do not possess the drive and determination to realise their fullest potential. It is even more worrying when they do not have an inkling of how important it is to set high standards and the expectations the community have on them, never mind the perception that students in the Middle East do not take their studies seriously.

I told them to remember WYSIWYG and they will not get what they did not seek. Almost in desperation, I told them to be a) focus, b) consistent and, c) determined along with the simple formulae of dividing their life into three one-thirds, for three tasks - studying, socialising and sleeping. And if they can divide their 24-hours a day for these three activities consistently, I have no doubt they can gain a breakthrough over what is currently a self-imposed glass ceiling.

The Q+A segment was dominated by the female students.
I didn't think that I managed to get my message and excitement across to the other gender.

To console and comfort myself, I hypothesised that the law of magnetism prevailed during the session: opposite poles attract and similar poles repel.

Not because the male students were not interested.
I wished this was true.

RDers

Yesterday I declined an invitation to speak on Rumahtangga Dakwah. I cannot remember the last time I turned down an invitation to deliver a talk or declined to be a GOH. Almost by default, I will oblige and do my very best to share what little I know of the subject matter.

It took me a couple of days to come to terms with that decision. The dissonance was primarily because the lessons of ‘abasa wa tawalla were etched in my mind. I feared the consequence of giving attention to other VIPs and luminaries over requests by friends and peers. But this was not the case. “I cannot overemphasise the importance and significance of Rumahtangga Dakwah (best translated as a da’wah household) as a key institution for du’at. It therefore deserves a practitioner and role model, which regrettably I do not fit the bill” I wrote in reply to the invitation.

Rumahtangga Dakwah (RD) means many things to many people. For a start, is it a noun or a verb, or both? The working definition encompasses the intent or purpose of marriage, the individuals to make the marriage and later the children in the family too, the focus of the family or household and the imaginings of that household over time.

Conventional wisdom suggests that RD begins with a marriage meant for da'wah. While I value its inherent altruism, I do not believe that when two persons decided to get married, they actually intend it for da'wah. The married couple may contribute to da'wah or continue to participate in da 'wah activities actively and with much vigour, but it does not make the household or family or marriage a RD.

Wait a minute .. why do two people get married any way?
It is Sunnah, is the straight and simple answer.
Islam encourages marriage when we fulfilled the necessary conditions.
That's the "theological" or religious reason.

What is the reason that moves two people into marriage?
Love? Attraction? Moment of madness? Fate? Jodoh? Cari pasal?
Or all of the above.

What if the marriage was not meant for da'wah in the outset, but to help a widower and his children to recover from their loss and look ahead in life?

But what is marriage meant for da'wah means?
Put simply, what is RD?

Let me attempt an ideal.

It is a marriage of two committed da'wah activists who vowed that their marriage and family will not affect their current commitment but will amplify and intensify their focus and efforts for the cause, instead. Together as a family, they grew and developed, nourished with love and happiness and brought joy to others and wherever they are. They contribute to the larger community they belong to and serve as role models for others who are building their own families. Beyond who they are, what they have too are meant for da'wah. It is a household of sakinah, mawaddah and rahmah. Perhaps one made in heaven.

While RD may be a heavenly entity, it exists in the real world with all its hard knocks and challenges. Therefore it is exposed to the trials and tribulations faced by any other married couples and families. But RDers must be resilient and become stronger in faith and as a family by it. Undespaired, they turn to Him for solace and hope whatever the weather may be.

Rain or shine, RD moves others to seek from Him for them to be bestowed qurrata' a'yun from their spouses and offsprings.

And RDers themselves, the comfort of His eyes.

Treasure Hunt

They were playing treasure hunt when I arrived. The place: Aloha Loyang Resort. The occasion: Welcoming BBQ for our undergraduates who have just returned to Singapore for their summer holiday. The BBQ-cum-engagement session was one of the many activities for us to develop, engage and equip them with knowledge and skills, beyond their religious studies, to prepare them for religious leadership in the modern world.

I was still trying to figure out what would be appropriate talking points and useful messages to share with them after the Maghrib prayer. My mind was still occupied with the earlier meeting I had with a humanitarian aid worker over a proposed educational project in Aceh. And the traveling from Woodlands to Pasir Ris was no less relaxing to the mind. The taxi driver was in top form giving his analysis and commentaries on the fuel hike, the ERP, the charges for the attractions at Sentosa and rides at Downtown East, throughout the entire journey. By the time I arrived at Aloha I was approaching a mental shutdown – perhaps because I’ve had four big meetings earlier in the day. Just two years ago, I would not feel an ache even with double the load.

Between supplications at the end of Maghrib prayer, I had an "aha!" for the welcoming remarks due just minutes away. After the invocations and pleasantries, I shared Prof Azyumardi Azra's observation of graduates from the Middle East. It was intended to shed light on the competency and capacity gaps between graduates from ME and those from Western Universities - not because they are incompetent, but only because of the educational approach and pedagogy which emphasised more memorisation and less critical enquiry. Hence I explained the rationale for the various initiatives and courses organised by SRDS for them to participate to develop the intellectual skill and acquire the tools to systemise thought, analyse, dissect arguments and review articles or books.

And before they could use busy as an excuse I told them tentunya kita harus sibuk, kerana nabi juga sibuk sewaktu hidupnya, (it is obvious that we must be busy, since the Prophet (saw) was busy too during his lifetime). As in previous years, I encouraged them to pick-up a new skill, learn a new language or read a new book (beyond Islamic science) while on vacation in Singapore. To idle is to degenerate and to be busy is prophetic.

To give them an example of the challenges religious leaders will be facing in future, I highlighted the ongoing debate on the issue of Sale of Human Organs. This issue, I mentioned, may split the country, led by the high priests of ethics and those who call for the legalisation of sale of organs to alleviate suffering. And we too have been asked to come down from our high horses to understand the pain and suffering of patients and their families.

I concluded the talk with a hypothetical phone call by Senator Barrack Obama asking anyone of them to draft a speech for him, to be delivered during his visit to Germany at the invitation of Chancellor Angela Merkel. Certainly we could decline the request, but doing so will be giving away a great opportunity to be part of history - and be known as the President Obama's speechwriter for his European tour, should he win the election in November.

So let's accept the assignment. But what would be the main points to include in the speech, or what are the tasks to be done to draft the speech. Research into previous and current trans-Atlantic relations, Germany's contribution to the US. Nato, etc. And we must not forget the key messages to include in the speech for Senator Obama to win the hearts and minds of the German public and politicians.

This assignment is not totally unreal. Very soon they will be required to write speeches at work, deliver khutbah and lectures and moderate panel discussions.

The treasure hunt game they played earlier was meant for bonding.
The assignment was also a form of treasure hunt, I thought.
A hunt for gems that glitter "aha!".

Inner Peace and Tranquility

"Karma is intentional action" explained Mr Kweh Soon Han, our speaker on Buddhism this afternoon. I had to attend to other urgent matters and therefore did not arrive on time to benefit the preambles of his presentation. He eloquently elucidated many concepts and terms from Buddhist teachings which I am not familiar with. To be honest I didn't really follow or understand parts of the explanation, particularly when he made reference to concepts in Pali - the language of Buddha. Nirvana, Dharma, four noble truths and eightfold path, among others.

What struck me though was the different levels and states of enlightenment arrived through meditation. I found the idea of inner peace and tranquility attractive, and recalled the verse:

"Those who believe and whose hearts find peace in the remembrance of God -- truly it is in the remembrance of God that hearts find peace" [Q 13:28]

Inner peace and tranquility are for those who are at peace with themselves, their environment and condition, their relationships with others and not least, their Lord. It is not something that can be exchanged or purchased like other material goods. It is personal -- you either know you have it or don't. And it fluctuates over time given the externalities and challenges or trials both from others and that which is willed by Allah to elevate His servant to a higher station of faith.

We may have all the wealth in the world but that does not guarantee inner peace and tranquility. Like the Buddhist monks who lived on one meal a day and the basic minimum, there are those who may not be economically rich, but certainly not spiritually poor. I am not advocating poverty or to remain poor. On the contrary I dream to follow the footsteps of Professor Muhammad Yunus, the founder of Grameen Bank and for his invaluable contributions to make poverty history, a Nobel prize winner. But wealth understood as material possessions - cash, properties, shares and stocks may skew our perception and a misunderstanding of its value and worth. It may even lead us to a lifelong preoccupation with worldly wealth as mentioned at the beginning of Surah Al-Takathur [Q 102].

Allah's blessings are in no small measure what wealth is made up of. It certainly includes a happy and loving family, pious and virtuous spouse and children, good health, great friends and bountiful sustenance - not forgetting timeful time.

Contentment and inner peace are outcomes of continuous expression of gratitude to Him, and an attitude of abundance - that we are not poor to give, even if we are the poorest of the poor.

For only by giving we will increase what we have.
Or the more we give, the more we will be able to give.

And that is good karma.

Backpacking Anyone?

My wife (affectionately called Kak Mariam) and I attended Br Zalman and Sis Masyithah's sharing of experience from their 22 months studying in Hartford Seminary, Connecticut. Thanks to them for inviting us to the session, and to the younger Perdaus/SAFF brothers and sisters for receiving us, despite our intergenerational difference. Kak Mariam felt that they should be calling us uncle and auntie because many of them are of the same age as our own children (ps: I once mentioned to Aisyah - that age is in the mind, if you don't mind age, age will not mind you).

Although we arrived late (due to an accident at Chai Chee Road junction) we were able to connect with their experiences, and for me it brought back memories of my 3-week International Leaders Visitors Programme in the United States in 2004.

On particular interesting reflection shared by Sis Masyithah was the Passover she attended on invitation of the Jewish community in Hartford. She pointed out that the elaborate dinner was sequenced to re-enact the religious history of Prophet Moses and the Children of Israel. Every "course" of the dinner signified an episode of the history and tradition. What was amazing for me what that the Passover dinner was a family affair - and they involved their children to partake in the preparation of the dinner and involved games (as part of the dinner sequence) to make it exciting for them. It was a three-in-one, I told myself (or is it a trinity !?) - RFF (Religious learning, Family bonding, and Food for everyone) What a great idea ! Something we could adopt and adapt within our family.

Kak Mariam and I truly appreciate the value of living abroad. It had enriched us and our children too. They spent their vacation in New Zealand's South Island last year to appreciate the beauty and grandeur of Allah's creation. But visit as a tourist to another country can never be compared with living and be part of the community of that country. Particularly if you end up staying in the Marriotts or Le Meridiens, strolled along fancy boulevards and shopped at Dorothy Perkins, Downtown.

Have you visited a place or a country and yet never got to speak to a local throughout your stay (and getting a piece of info at the hotel reception cannot be counted - since the staff too is a foreigner herself :o) for a richer appreciation of the society - rather than beautiful (digital) photos of places, monuments and landmarks (and yourselves in the forefront, of course).

So what is a "better" way to travel? you may asked. Should we be backpackers to enmesh into the society or a community? How can we live with, and amongst them to learn and be enriched within a matter of days or weeks - short period of time (and when we actually need a good break and rest to re-charge after a year of hectic living)?

I usually stayed in the Marriotts, Le Meridiens and Royal Lancasters so that I do not trouble my local hosts or friends who I knew in the city or country. But I usually seek their help for me to visit local mosques, organisations and institutions to meet the locals or the heartlanders (- to borrow a Singaporean parlance). And even to savour the taste of local delicacies at backalleys and unfriendly nooks.

I asked Kak Mariam what was that one significant takeaway for us from the sharing session. She replied almost instantaneously (and interestingly similar to what I had in mind) that we should encourage our young to live abroad so that they may learn and experience beyond the familiar and the comfort of home.

Living with others is learning with others,
learning with others is learning together about life and living,
and not just living as next door neighbours.

Timeful Time

Have you ever came across time when it appeared as if time has stopped or moved much slower than usual, hence allowing you to achieve much more at a comfortable pace? A rare exception to the rule characterised by fast paced living with no time to reflect before the next job appears on life's conveyor belt.

This week something unusual happened, alhamdulillah. I will try to elaborate but it may not be easy to describe experience as experienced. So here goes three instances ..

I

I took upon myself to chair-cum-moderate the Mosque Religious Officers (MRO) meeting held at Al-Istiqamah Mosque, since my colleague was on medical leave. The meeting started half-an-hour later than scheduled but we were able to end on time for lunch before everyone made their way to their workplaces. I opened the meeting with introductory remarks covering several happenings and important issues of the week. Subsequently we had two presentations, the first was a beautiful tazkirah (reminder) by Ustaz Abdul Manaf on Hati Yang Hidup (A Living Heart) followed by a briefing on Mosque Management by Hj Kassim Kamis. Although we started late, we were able to have a good discussion and additional contributions by the participants. Much to my surprise, we were able to add 2 more items to the programme, a) reflections on their visit to Khalsa Prison and b) plenary for MROs to share the happenings at their respective mosques. I felt that as more MROs took the floor to offer their updates and views, the slower the time went. It was almost as though time had given us additional 3 minutes for every minute passed. Truly blessed time!

II

Our meeting with Br Necmettin, Br Erkan and Br Cengzhi from the Turkish Cultural Centre took an interesting twist. We had put aside 2 hours for the meeting for this getting-to-know each other session. As expected our guests arrived on time but requested to pray Asr when they arrived at An-Nahdah Mosque. We started the meeting after the pleasantries and both parties took turns to share our activities, through video and powerpoint presentations. We were conscious that we will have to wrap-up before Maghrib prayers. Alhamdulillah, we explored several initiatives and at the of the meeting we discovered that there were 6 areas of collaboration agreed. And it was a bonus for we started without expecting any deals and were pleasantly surprised that we were able to end the meeting well ahead before Maghrib. What a Turkish delight!

III

Aisyah gently reminded me to finish the REA meeting by 10.00 pm, and understandably so since she lives in the west quite a distance from the venue in the east. We arrived at the meeting place at 8 pm sharp but no other members had arrived. And since its dinner time, we went to the nearest coffee shop for a plate of fried chicken. We were already behind schedule the moment we started, and almost with his magical touch Br Hakeem led the meeting for us to discuss several outstanding issues and seek commitment to undertake various tasks for the inaugural award ceremony sometime in October this year. Contrary to our fears that this meeting will go into the night to make up for the brief hiatus, I was personally impressed when we closed the meeting with Tasbih Kaffarah and Surah Asr at about 9.30 pm. It certainly made Aisyah's day!

&

How did it happen? I wondered and asked myself. What were the "right" elements that came together on the day, at the meetings and during it to achieve much more, without the stress or rush to compete with time.

Is this what is meant by Allah's blessings of time?
That made time timeful.

The All-Knower, only He knows best.